Cultural Traditions: Paebaek

Perhaps it's time for me to tell you a little bit about the cultural ceremonies.  As I've mentioned before, we are planning on having a paebaek, or Korean ceremony, after the reception (it will be optional, and our guests can just leave beforehand or hang out in the dining room if they want to--it'll be in an adjacent room).  Traditionally, the paebaek is held at the groom's parents house, but since that's not exactly practical (group caravan flight to Spokane, anyone?), I thought it'd be nice to have it at Lawry's after the reception, so that everyone can watch.  It would also be nice to have some familiar faces around, in addition to Eddie's relatives from Korea, whom I've never met before.  After all, I have never seen a paebaek (and neither has Eddie) and cultural wedding traditions are so beautiful and interesting!

I've done a lot of research (I probably know a lot more about paebaeks than Eddie does, actually), but I'm sure I've gotten some of this wrong, so any Koreans, please correct me on this if you see anything that looks wrong!

The Attire

Mrs. Martini, Weddingbee (photos by Cly Creation)

The bride and groom are both clad in elaborate hanboks, although nowadays the groom will often just wear a nice suit.  Only royalty were allowed to wear colored hanboks, and weddings were the exception to the rule for commoners.  My FMIL already bought my hanbok in Korea, but I need to rent the "gear" that goes over it in Koreatown. This gear consists of: a large robe worn over the hanbok, a hat (similar to the crown of a royal), a large hair pin/stick that goes through your updo with a sash that goes down on either side of your head, and a piece of cloth held over your hands (see below for what this is for).  The groom's attire consists of a hanbok and a large black hat.  I know that the groom's hanbok isn't really in style anymore, but I really want Eddie to wear one, because I just think it's weird if the non-Korean is clad in traditional Korean clothing while the Korean isn't!

Drinking Up

Paebaek--The Weddingbee Wiki

In many respects, the paebaek is quite similar to a tea ceremony.  Here's a rundown of how it works.  A table is laid out with lots of Korean appetizers and tea or soju (Korean rice wine).  The purpose of this ceremony is to honor the groom's parents, who the bride and groom would go to live with traditionally.  The bride and groom's helpers pour the soju into cups for them to drink (the bride only pretends to drink, as it would be unladylike to drink on her wedding day).  Then the bride and groom offer soju to each of the honorees (close relatives) there.  Each honoree will impart wisdom for the couple's future.  They will also give the bride and groom cash gifts.

Bowing
The bride and groom bow in different ways.  The bride brings the back of her hands to her forehead, and slowly kneels down with holding that position, until eventually her hands touch the floor.  The groom slowly kneels, and places his hands on the floor, then lowers his body and head until they are touching the floor.  There is lots of bowing in the paebaek ceremony to honor all of the relatives.  The groom's father sits on the east side of the room, and the mother on the west.  The bride bows to them four times, showing loyalty to the family.  She then presents small gifts of food to the relatives.  And since the bride's hanbok is so heavy, she usually requires two attendants to help her bow so that she does not topple over!

Dates and Chestnuts

Mrs. Martini, Weddingbee (photos by Cly Creation)

Each of the parents and grandparents take a turn trying to throw dates and chestnuts into the bride's embroidered cloth or skirt.  As you may have already guessed, these symbolize the number of children the couple will have (dates being girls, and chestnuts, boys).  Judging from their current unbridled desire for grandchildren, I think that Eddie's parents will be very zealous in their chestnut and date throwing!

Piggy-back Ride

Mrs. Gummi Bear, Weddingbee (photo by Ian Martin Photography)

At the end of paebaek, the groom gives his mother a piggyback ride around the table (or around the room, depending on how much of a production you want this to be and how strong the groom is), followed by his new wife.  I suppose this is to symbolize his shift in responsibility of caring for his wife instead of his mother, but I think it might just be an entertaining photo op!

Sources: The Knot, Cal State LA, Wedding Details, Weddingbee Wiki, Eating Korean (Cecelia Hae-Jin Lee), Timeless Traditions (Lisl M. Spangenberg)

I hope that this was interesting to read about!  I really want to make a program for the paebaek so that our guests won't be in the dark while it's happening.  However, I don't really want to make two separate programs, one for the ceremony, and one for the paebaek, since that seems expensive and wasteful.  Should I skip the ceremony program?  Or put the paebaek info on the regular program and hope the guests don't lose it between the ceremony and reception?